I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
