I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
