I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
