She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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