Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
not ubering you a puppy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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