your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
