We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
