If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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