whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
