I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize