remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Randomize
