Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
