? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
True college students do jello shots in the library
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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