Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
