Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
