we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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