Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
false alarm, still single
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
