you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
