Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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