Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
