I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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