Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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