ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
