So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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