why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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