After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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