New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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