In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
