I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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