Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
