When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
