So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
