he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My balls are so social today.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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