I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
