if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He did a backflip because drugs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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