mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
His nipple licking is glorious
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