it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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