it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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