that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
