does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
