This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
