it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
