I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
