he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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