I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
