You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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