I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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