I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
