I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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