We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
