Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
