yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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