Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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