i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
