If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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