were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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