Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
