Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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