Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
