So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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