just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
These tits shall not be calmed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
