But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
