Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
