No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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