Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
