yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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