people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
