So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
