I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
