so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm both gender and math confused
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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