my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
