i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
