careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
