Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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