but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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