Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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