IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I will be naked everywhere
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
